big arsed shoes.

Sometimes I sit and remember reading those blogs and remember wishing there was something I could do to help. Sometimes I think to myself, if she was perfect, what does that make me? I must have some big arse shoes to fill. I worry that when I have my freak outs, as I have had with every relationship I've been in, that it'll end the same way the others did.

But when I see him or speak to him, whether it be over MSN or text, those worries leave and I know I'm lucky. I forget my doubts and get lost in the moment.

As a close friend and I discussed late one night, the feel of arms around your waist is the best in the world. And after going without it for so long, I don't want to give it up.

ILY's covering it at the moment. But just.
So here's to the present and future. Forget the past, it's just full of bad memories, and look to the future, it'll be full of good ones. I promise.
<3<3

Out Of The Blue-Delta Goodrem.

A new beginning
A new chapter of my life
Started the day
When I thought
It could be my last
My eyes were wide shut but I hadn't given up
Just thought I'd be walking the world alone

Out of the blue
There I met you
Showed me a life I can't see without you
And theres just no way
That I can fight these emotions
Your energy running through me
Nobody can renew me like you

Out of the blue
Can this be true?

Family and friends they were my life
I wasn't one for butterflies
But you gave me love that I can't disguise
And there will be times when we're apart
I want you to know you're in my heart
Growing into a beautiful garden

No emotions
My whole body felt like ice
Needed to feel that the sun would shine my way
My world had turned to dust
But I had my faith and trust
Just thought I'd be walking the world alone

Family and friends they were my life
I wasn't one for butterflies
But you gave me love that I can't disguise
And there will be times when we're apart
I want you to know you're in my heart
Growing into a beautiful garden

Out of the blue
There I met you
I can’t believe that this happened so soon
And theres just no way
That I can fight these emotions
Your energy running through me
(Out of the blue)
(There I met you)
(Showed me a life) I can't see without you
(Out of the blue) Without you
There I met you, you
(Showed me a life) I can't see without you

There will be times when we're apart
I want you to know you're in my heart
Growing into a beautiful garden (Finally come true)
(Out of the blue)
(There I met you)

why?

FUCK!!

Is all I seem to be able to utter at the moment. Why can't some people grasp that there are situations where people just need to be left alone; that they might deserve happiness; or even a second chance.

Some people are selfish, and sometimes I consider myself one of the selfish people, but at least I know when people need their space.

Fan-fucking-tastic. My hands are shaking again. Some people just make me so angry. And how do you expect someone to fucking help if you can't let them in. It's honestly for your own benefit and well being. I know I'm not too good at the advice thing, but you could at least let me try. I'm sick of not knowing whether you're telling the truth or not. And it's frustrating. I've tried working it out, but I can't seem to be able to tell. You're frustrating. I love you, but sometimes you annoy the crap out of me. So cryptic all the time.

You're persistent in solving my problems, but the second I try and help, it seems as though you close up and you're only giving me minor details.

On a brighter note. Four days was too long. Can't wait to see you tomorrow.
(L)(L)(L)(L) :)
Me xo.

When I Look At You.

Yesterday was good fun. Played footy. So funny. All the girls felt like death after the first half. Thank God we only played for the 10 min halves, otherwise I might have stopped breathing. Then I sung the national anthem. I didn't think it went to well, but apparently after the first line I "pulled it together".

Today we went into town, I bought a Lava Lamp. Love it.

Anywho, I just went and had a hot bath. When I got out I felt relaxed as all crap. And then I went and put myself some food. As I was walking towards the table, my head started to spin, and all of a sudden I couldn't see or hear anything. So I stumbled to the table, blind and deaf, somehow managed to put my food down, and followed instructions from a somewhat tense Mum.

So after dry reaching for a bit, I wiped the food off my hand and held my head in my hands with my eyes closed for a bit. I felt like I was gunna pass out. But I feel better now that I've eaten.

But apart from that, I've had a good weekend so far. OH! We watched The Blair Witch Project. Pointless. A couple of scary bits, but overall, pointless. And Dad decided to show face after 6 months of nothing. Basically told Hannah to get fucked after she confronted him about not getting birthday presents for the second year in a row, after giving Jake $100 for his. So Hannah put up a status on Facebook. And good on her for it, people shouldn't be upset by it, it's more informing them of the shit that he likes to do. But that's who he is, and there's nothing anyone else can do about it.

And now Facebook won't open up. Stupid. I'm going to watch Ned, which Brady believes is the funniest movie ever.
Au revoir mes amis.
Moi xo.

P.S: The title's of my posts are of song names. :)

Save Me, San Francisco.

I couldn't think of what to write about before, but I've decided to make a list.

1. Justin Bieber is an idiot, but I do love One Time.
2. They did NOT take Gullible out of the dictionary.
3. Cheese does NOT sound like Gullible.
4. Year 7's get stupider and smaller every year.
5. Carl Barron; Danny Bhoy; Dylan Moran; Tim Minchin; Steven K Amos. Funniest people alive.
6. Peas and Peace are NOT the same things. And Olive should not be a substitute for I Love. STOP USING CONDAMENTS FOR MESSAGES.
7. Mumford & Sons are wonderful and I fucking love their music.
8. I kick a football so much better with only one boot on.
9. AFL is NOT a pussy sport.
10. Monty Python's Holy Grail and Life of Brian. Possibly the best movies ever.
11. I seriously thought that our group was history.
12. Ally P. Kayla M. I don't know where I'd be without you two.
13. Brady. Alex. John. You guys are awesome.
14. Roosters are the fucking shit.
15. Jess O, Sheersy, Maddy, Kaylee, Bec, Kaileigh, Sarah. You guys are amazing, always know how to make me laugh.
16. Midnight Beast are fucking hilarious.
17. Meggzy, Pickles, Aunty, Lally, Uncle, Barbi, Lou, Cody, Ruben. You guys know how to party.
18. Bus Trips for excurssions are the best.
19. This never ending list and it's need to go on is stoopid.
20. Mrs Cohen finds more bloody meaning in a fucking book than the composer meant it to have.
21. Batemans Bay Seahawks. What more needs to be said?
22. School Teachers. Especially the ones who've been incredibly supportive of me this year.
23. I can finish Solitaire in 62 seconds, and Minesweeper in 5.
24. I'm so fucking bored.
25. iTunes. You're stoopid.
26. Mummy. I love you.
27. Jake. You're an idiot.
28. Hannah. You and your friends are crazy.
29. Technology. ILY!
30. Last, but very not least. Dyl. We're awesome. You're awesome. Continually amazing me. Forever grateful. ♥ :) FILY!!

"Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of elderberries!!"

"What Are you going to do? Bleed on me?"

Night night lads and ladettes.
Me xo.