As soon as some motivation comes, to try to fix something, to try and do well, it goes almost as quickly as it came.
I don't know anymore.
I have no motivation for school, and I've lost any motivation to be able to comprehend anything. All I ever want to do is sleep.
The holidays can't come quick enough. It's like I've burnt out already, and the hard work hasn't even started yet.
I'm fucked. The end.
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Sunday, August 22, 2010
lucky.
:) Hello world.
I've been in bed for almost half an hour. And have been listening to my Michael Buble Cd's for the first time in so long. I'm sorry I ever stopped listening to him. His music, the words to his songs, make me feel good. I don't know why but everything just falls into perspective while he serenades me.
The last week has been awesome. Had the Think Pink Charity Dinner for the McGrath Foundation. Alongside Kaileigh we slow baked the most beautiful pork I have ever tasted. That was the epitome of my back of house experience. To know that I part took in creating an extremely beautiful dish. Learning for the very talented Roger Bayley, working and laughing the whole time with Kate, James and Jane as they failed epically with the first few attempts at rolling their chicken. Kate's constant complaining about how gross the chicken skin was, and the extravagent scents of the masterpieces being created around me.
The whole night was a beautiful success. The icing on the cake was the unexpected lunch the next day, where we all ate the leftovers. Then spent the double helping Jane clean the kitchen and get the rooms back in order. Which was a tiresome and tedious job that had to be done. But well worth it in the end. Just gives me an idea of what kind of mess I plan on getting myself into in the nearing future.
Yesterday was pretty cool. Went into town with Mum and Hannah. I bought a blank recipe book that I can fill with my own recipes. Then went to the movies with Kayla, Alex and Dylan. Watched South Solitary, which I must say was a brilliant movie.
Last night Mum, Hannah and I went to see a man named Sam Bailey, alongside his wife Jenny. The most beautiful people and the most awe inspiring. When Sam was 19 he was involved in a car accident, leaving him a quadriplegic. As a farmer, this was a devastating blow for him. However, Sam has come through his troubles and now co-owns a 1250 hectare beef cattle farm with his "little cracker" of a wife, Jenny. Sam has learnt to fly a light weight aircraft, and plans on being the first quadriplegic in the world to learn how to fly a helicopter.
At the end of the night I was, and still am, incredibly inspired by Sam and Jenny, and the distance they've come together, through so much. I'm in the process of reading their book. I'm only a chapter in, and it is still a fantastic read so far. Definitely recommend it. Had my copy signed and I plan on keeping it with me, to remind myself of how lucky I am.
Tonight I caught up on all my maths homework, am yet to catch up on English, but that won't be to hard. I hope. Tomorrow I have to tackle this CAFS assignment, otherwise I'm absolutely pooped. But tonight I also went through our cookbooks and flagged all the recipes I want in my book. I also spent some of today helping my Papou fixing the head light in my car. Took a chunk out of my finger, but it was fun. So now I have to write two lists. One being the things I shall need for my kitchen when I leave home so I can cook all of the recipes in my cookbook. And the other for the things I need to buy to put in the boot of my car, in my tool box that I plan on putting together.
Also planning a road trip to Queensland in October. Being more cost effective and more fun than the plane trip. Can't wait. Carroll Day this week. Have the best Cruella De Vil costume out there. Don't know how well it's going to go with jelly though. :S Oh well. It shall be good.
So au revoir, and I shall say again. I am one lucky girl. :)
I've been in bed for almost half an hour. And have been listening to my Michael Buble Cd's for the first time in so long. I'm sorry I ever stopped listening to him. His music, the words to his songs, make me feel good. I don't know why but everything just falls into perspective while he serenades me.
The last week has been awesome. Had the Think Pink Charity Dinner for the McGrath Foundation. Alongside Kaileigh we slow baked the most beautiful pork I have ever tasted. That was the epitome of my back of house experience. To know that I part took in creating an extremely beautiful dish. Learning for the very talented Roger Bayley, working and laughing the whole time with Kate, James and Jane as they failed epically with the first few attempts at rolling their chicken. Kate's constant complaining about how gross the chicken skin was, and the extravagent scents of the masterpieces being created around me.
The whole night was a beautiful success. The icing on the cake was the unexpected lunch the next day, where we all ate the leftovers. Then spent the double helping Jane clean the kitchen and get the rooms back in order. Which was a tiresome and tedious job that had to be done. But well worth it in the end. Just gives me an idea of what kind of mess I plan on getting myself into in the nearing future.
Yesterday was pretty cool. Went into town with Mum and Hannah. I bought a blank recipe book that I can fill with my own recipes. Then went to the movies with Kayla, Alex and Dylan. Watched South Solitary, which I must say was a brilliant movie.
Last night Mum, Hannah and I went to see a man named Sam Bailey, alongside his wife Jenny. The most beautiful people and the most awe inspiring. When Sam was 19 he was involved in a car accident, leaving him a quadriplegic. As a farmer, this was a devastating blow for him. However, Sam has come through his troubles and now co-owns a 1250 hectare beef cattle farm with his "little cracker" of a wife, Jenny. Sam has learnt to fly a light weight aircraft, and plans on being the first quadriplegic in the world to learn how to fly a helicopter.
At the end of the night I was, and still am, incredibly inspired by Sam and Jenny, and the distance they've come together, through so much. I'm in the process of reading their book. I'm only a chapter in, and it is still a fantastic read so far. Definitely recommend it. Had my copy signed and I plan on keeping it with me, to remind myself of how lucky I am.
Tonight I caught up on all my maths homework, am yet to catch up on English, but that won't be to hard. I hope. Tomorrow I have to tackle this CAFS assignment, otherwise I'm absolutely pooped. But tonight I also went through our cookbooks and flagged all the recipes I want in my book. I also spent some of today helping my Papou fixing the head light in my car. Took a chunk out of my finger, but it was fun. So now I have to write two lists. One being the things I shall need for my kitchen when I leave home so I can cook all of the recipes in my cookbook. And the other for the things I need to buy to put in the boot of my car, in my tool box that I plan on putting together.
Also planning a road trip to Queensland in October. Being more cost effective and more fun than the plane trip. Can't wait. Carroll Day this week. Have the best Cruella De Vil costume out there. Don't know how well it's going to go with jelly though. :S Oh well. It shall be good.
So au revoir, and I shall say again. I am one lucky girl. :)
Saturday, August 14, 2010
slutty marshmallow
Okay. Pissed off. Me? Yeah. Forgive me but I'd actually like to do well in my exams. I don't care how much you hate school or how much you don't want to be there, but for me it's a different story. It's a step towards my future. My career. What happens to me when I leave. It affects the decisions I make and what I choose to do when I want. So don't you dare get fucking shitty when I tell you no, because you aren't really very high on my priority list at the moment. And if that isn't clear enough, come find me and I will make it clear for you.
You say you care what I think or feel, but you obviously don't take much notice. Leave me alone when I do my work. Leave me alone to concentrate and focus. Not only at school. Having the constant little distractions is really starting to shit me and I don't think I'm going to be able to handle that over the next month. So until the end of exams, fuck off, and leave me be. Stop pestering. If there's one thing I hate in the world it's persistent people. I said no once. Accept it and move on.
Okay. Now that that's over. Hello. Yesterday was epic. Woke up at 6am, got up at 8 and was at footy by 9.30. I drove there, attempted my first kerb-side park and ran up the kerb in front of everyone at the footy club. *blush* Embarrassing on another level. Then I drove from footy into town. Did that well, went to underground park, stalled over the first speed hump then near took the side off my car and another one. So Mum drove back to footy. Then I time-kept for the first half of the 17's game, blew the hooter late, after having the boys wait for five minutes, forgot I had to do three or four other things while I was time-keeping. So the start to my day was shit. Half-time I got ready for my game.
Played back pocket the whole game. Only came off in the last two minutes of the game. Almost played a whole game. Had a few good runs. Made a break through two Bermi girls then booted the ball out of the 50. Pretty happy with that. Bit stiff today, but was definitely worth it. Shame we don't play more often. Then sat around for the last few games. Did my job for the last game, then came home to get ready for Stars of the Seahawks.
That was pretty funny. Joshy V went first. So good. Then Captain AJ went, came out naked, only wearing two of the premiership flags. So funny. Then the acts went on. Had dinner and dessert. had a good time. Danced a bit. After it was all finished, the very very drunk boys started pulling their pants down. Two of them left off a bit of steam and were "fighting". Was pretty scary. After that we went home. $60 for a taxi out to Rosedale. Holy bananas. but we did do three trips in one, so it would've been less. Had to fill Mum in on what she didn't remember from last night. She was pretty sick, as soon as we got home she was hugging the toilet, then told us we should never drink. So funny. Didn't get to bed until 12:45 in the am. So tired.
Today. Played a few levels of Where's Wally? So good. But distracting. Got all my stuff for the SOR essay done, so I'm happy with that. Tried to have a go at the CAFS assignment but got to pissed off so I wrote this. And now I'm done. :) I got a new vegetable peeler for my knife roll for Hospo, cos the other one's shit.
Fin.
You say you care what I think or feel, but you obviously don't take much notice. Leave me alone when I do my work. Leave me alone to concentrate and focus. Not only at school. Having the constant little distractions is really starting to shit me and I don't think I'm going to be able to handle that over the next month. So until the end of exams, fuck off, and leave me be. Stop pestering. If there's one thing I hate in the world it's persistent people. I said no once. Accept it and move on.
Okay. Now that that's over. Hello. Yesterday was epic. Woke up at 6am, got up at 8 and was at footy by 9.30. I drove there, attempted my first kerb-side park and ran up the kerb in front of everyone at the footy club. *blush* Embarrassing on another level. Then I drove from footy into town. Did that well, went to underground park, stalled over the first speed hump then near took the side off my car and another one. So Mum drove back to footy. Then I time-kept for the first half of the 17's game, blew the hooter late, after having the boys wait for five minutes, forgot I had to do three or four other things while I was time-keeping. So the start to my day was shit. Half-time I got ready for my game.
Played back pocket the whole game. Only came off in the last two minutes of the game. Almost played a whole game. Had a few good runs. Made a break through two Bermi girls then booted the ball out of the 50. Pretty happy with that. Bit stiff today, but was definitely worth it. Shame we don't play more often. Then sat around for the last few games. Did my job for the last game, then came home to get ready for Stars of the Seahawks.
That was pretty funny. Joshy V went first. So good. Then Captain AJ went, came out naked, only wearing two of the premiership flags. So funny. Then the acts went on. Had dinner and dessert. had a good time. Danced a bit. After it was all finished, the very very drunk boys started pulling their pants down. Two of them left off a bit of steam and were "fighting". Was pretty scary. After that we went home. $60 for a taxi out to Rosedale. Holy bananas. but we did do three trips in one, so it would've been less. Had to fill Mum in on what she didn't remember from last night. She was pretty sick, as soon as we got home she was hugging the toilet, then told us we should never drink. So funny. Didn't get to bed until 12:45 in the am. So tired.
Today. Played a few levels of Where's Wally? So good. But distracting. Got all my stuff for the SOR essay done, so I'm happy with that. Tried to have a go at the CAFS assignment but got to pissed off so I wrote this. And now I'm done. :) I got a new vegetable peeler for my knife roll for Hospo, cos the other one's shit.
Fin.
Friday, August 13, 2010
black friday
I don't know what I did. Give an inch and they take a mile. Then it's your fault because they're unhappy. Well you know what, you can come find me when you feel like having a civilised conversation, without getting depressed or making it depressing half way through. I'm sick of feeling like shit all the time, because of you and "your emotional constipation". Sick of it. There's obviously something wrong, and you won't tell me or let me help, then you wonder why I get the shits.
Anyway. Since my last blog we went to the Careers Expo and visited the Islamic Mosque in Canberra. The expo was awesome. Got heaps of stuff on the College's I wanted to go to, and then at the universities. Pretty happy with that. The mosque was awesome. The religion and the prayer session itself. It was incredible. The guys there were pretty cool too. They tried to convert a couple of people, including Mrs Whiting. :)
The Saturday before that Mum,Hannah and I went to Canberra for the day. Spent a whole heap of money. :) and watched Toy Story 3. I fell asleep through it. :S
Not much has really happened since then. Spent the day at Dylan's. That was pretty cool. :) Got our English assignment. Stoked with the topic I got. Done heaps of research for it already. So happy. :) :) And Mum ordered my Carroll Day costume. Keen for that to arrive. :D Footy tomorrow. So keen for that. I actually get to play. :D against Bermagui. Gunna be good. Then after that the Stars of the Seahawks is on. That's gunna be so good. Can't wait.
Bridget's birthday dinner tonight. Was pretty cool. Went to Hog's Breath. Tayla and I waited around for 45 minutes before people came. Then everyone came and we ordered and talked about sex, mine and Emily's affair, Harry Potter, the list goes on. Was so funny. Then I missed singing Happy Birthday cos I was in the loo when Peddles brought out the cake. Cake was lush as. So good.
But now I'm home in my room. Which I re-decorated. It is no longer blue and brown themed, but predominately white. I love it. Instead of being calming and chilled like it was, it's now bright and alive. So good. OH! And Mum bought me a Snuggie. Yeah they're weird, until you get one and it's the coolest thing on Earth. Stupid, but cool at the same time. I wear mine backwards, and it's leopard print. :)
I think that's it. 5 weeks of Year 11/Prelim year to go before we start HSC. Who else is shitting themselves? I am! Which also means 5 weeks until my birthday, and end of term. Yay! That means holidays soon. :)
Alright, I'm out.
I love you. :)
Anyway. Since my last blog we went to the Careers Expo and visited the Islamic Mosque in Canberra. The expo was awesome. Got heaps of stuff on the College's I wanted to go to, and then at the universities. Pretty happy with that. The mosque was awesome. The religion and the prayer session itself. It was incredible. The guys there were pretty cool too. They tried to convert a couple of people, including Mrs Whiting. :)
The Saturday before that Mum,Hannah and I went to Canberra for the day. Spent a whole heap of money. :) and watched Toy Story 3. I fell asleep through it. :S
Not much has really happened since then. Spent the day at Dylan's. That was pretty cool. :) Got our English assignment. Stoked with the topic I got. Done heaps of research for it already. So happy. :) :) And Mum ordered my Carroll Day costume. Keen for that to arrive. :D Footy tomorrow. So keen for that. I actually get to play. :D against Bermagui. Gunna be good. Then after that the Stars of the Seahawks is on. That's gunna be so good. Can't wait.
Bridget's birthday dinner tonight. Was pretty cool. Went to Hog's Breath. Tayla and I waited around for 45 minutes before people came. Then everyone came and we ordered and talked about sex, mine and Emily's affair, Harry Potter, the list goes on. Was so funny. Then I missed singing Happy Birthday cos I was in the loo when Peddles brought out the cake. Cake was lush as. So good.
But now I'm home in my room. Which I re-decorated. It is no longer blue and brown themed, but predominately white. I love it. Instead of being calming and chilled like it was, it's now bright and alive. So good. OH! And Mum bought me a Snuggie. Yeah they're weird, until you get one and it's the coolest thing on Earth. Stupid, but cool at the same time. I wear mine backwards, and it's leopard print. :)
I think that's it. 5 weeks of Year 11/Prelim year to go before we start HSC. Who else is shitting themselves? I am! Which also means 5 weeks until my birthday, and end of term. Yay! That means holidays soon. :)
Alright, I'm out.
I love you. :)
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