J. Alfred Prufrock

Okay, so as soon as I get on top of all my homework, it piles back on. It's okay though, because I know I can handle it. Slowly and more and more I'm finding I can handle a lot more things. Except yesterday. Yesterday sucked, and no I don't want to talk about it. But today I did get complimented from Mrs Cohen. Not something you hear very often, but it seems that I was the only one who had a go at deconstructing a couple of poems that are alluded to in Prufrock, and she said I did really well. So that's boosted my esteem in English, and I feel like I'm on the right track, and if I put in the hard work, it pays off. But I think I like looking at a poem, picking out the little bits by myself, and then leaving it at that. I enjoy it more that way.

Looking forward to the Careers Market on Wednesday. It will be good. Hopefully the Business College I want to go to will be there and I can get some stuff from them. :) And I'm very looking forward to visiting the Mosque. It'll be good to experience a new religion. Not something a whole heap of people get to do very often. And it means another bus trip. :) I like bus trips.

I'm trying to keep a positive outlook on everything. Maybe this is all for the better. I know it's going to make us stronger. I think Prufrock's helping me realise that I need to be more grown up about my decision making. Think it through before I go making any decisions. It's just making me see things differently. And the two other poems, "The Road Not Taken" and "To his coy mistress" really opened my eyes. I don't know how, they just did. I highly recommend them, especially "The Road Not Taken" by Robert Frost.

I had something else to say but I can't remember. :) But I'm happier. Oh! Big, big, HUGE thank you to everyone who's been checking up on me the past few days. It means a lot.

:) I love you. xxx

looking forward.

:) I feel so :) all of a sudden. I'm in the process of working out the kinks in what I want to do. I think Hospitality Management is where I'm heading. I never really liked the idea of an office job, but something about the formalities of it and the idea of international work opportunities is so inviting. I love the idea of the formal work, I loved doing the different functions and being part of organisations that work on putting together functions. Going into a Hotel and being able to say, "I manage this. I run it." is what I want to one day be able to say. I want to be able to travel overseas and live in another country doing something I love. I don't know what part of the Hospitality industry I want to be in, but it is definitely in Hospitality. And the best part is I don't have to go to University. I can get all 4 certificates at TAFE, bonus.

I'm finally all caught up on my work, and could possibly be a little bit ahead of everyone. Biology was extremely satisfying today, because I'd already read through and taken note of the things on Active and Passive Transport, and Diffusion and Osmosis. I already knew it, so the worksheets were easier and it was more like revision instead of new work. :) I was pretty happy. I've decided that I'm going to sit by myself in class from now on. After trying it today I managed to stay on task and concentrate better than when I sit with other people. I've just finished four hours of study and I'm feeling so good.

Top all of that off with KFC, a gorgeous boyfriend and the best friends and family in the world and I'm pretty much set for being in the right head space for the next 50 weeks of schooling. 12 weeks of holidays, 4 terms and 8 weeks left of school. I don't know whether to be excited or scared, but one thing's for sure, I can't wait to get out there, be more confident in myself and in my choices, have an idea of where I'm heading, and the work I need to do to get there. All's left is to get a job and start saving, and I'll be set. Finally starting to work things out.

So I raise my glass to the future, because God knows I plan on making it so much better than the past I'm leaving behind.

the most boring of all...

Hello.

It's the second last day of the holidays and I'm mighty pissed off. I wanted to get so much done these holidays. And all I'm going to be able to tell people I did all holidays was sleep and watch movies. I still haven't been to the beach. We've lived here for 3 months and I still haven't been to the beaches. Shall have to go tomorrow.

My list of things to do tomorrow:
1. Visit Rosedale Beach and 'Stinky's' Beach with the dog.
2. Wash the dog.
3. Finish at least half the mountain of homework I have.
4. Dye mine and Hannah's hair.
5. Vacuum the house.
6. Clean the house (again).
7. Make cake and biscuits.

That's about it so far. So yeah, pretty much all I've done all holidays is sleep and watch movies. Occasionally stepped outside, but not very often. Planning a trip to beautiful Queensland, either in the next couple of weeks, or later in the Term. Today was pretty good. Mum was in a good mood so we went shopping. We bought 3 iPod docks and a couple other things.

"And when you're sad, remember,
That Linda is a skanky whore."

God I miss the Wedding Singer. And everyone I've spoken to is as well. I put earrings back in my ears for the first time in ages. Absolutely killed, and that was the other day. They still bloody hurt. And Friday night I was putting some wood on the fire and touched the side. Burnt my fingers, which means I now have distorted fingerprints, which means if I'm suspected for murder, (hypothetically) half of my fingerprint on my middle and ring finger on my left hand will be missing. :D Pretty cool if you ask me.

I think that might be it. :) Hopefully I'll get up at a decent hour and be able to see a few more hours in my day catching up on my holidays. :)
I guess I'll be seeing some of you soon. :)
I love you. xxx

Blog 100

So I'm writing Blog 100. Kind of weird. 100 is a big number. I'm currently sort of watching I Am Legend. Bestest, most saddest movie. Texting my favourite most bestest boyfriend. Haha, I say favourite like there's more than one. :S There isn't, I promise. Mind you I have a friend who has nicknamed us Declan and Cassidy. Thanks Laura, you bloody spastic.

Holidays have been alright so far. Done shit all. Haven't done any homework, spent two full days in bed doing nothing but watch movies. Spent Thursday in town with Bec, John, Brady, Ally and Kaileigh. Had a good time. Went into Romantacy and looked around while Bec bought her birthday presents, I think. Had a look through the catalogue of lingerie that they had. Some pretty good stuff. After that we went to the movies and watched Toy Story 3. Successfully cried again. Then we went back to Becs, watched Chicago and got 6 people into her bed. Then we had dinner and cake and bitched and then played Sing star and Guitar Hero. :) Then we went to bed. Sarah and I moved into the other room and watched Bring It On and bitched some more.

So that was Bec's birthday. I have decided that I don't believe a word you have ever said to me. You have 3 stories to where it happened and 5 different ways the guy died. Oh yeah, I still most definitely still believe you. Thanks for nothing.

I am missing you very muchly. :) Am very looking forward to next weekend though. Very very much. Can't wait to see you again. Missing hugs and kisses very very much. Mind you i have enjoyed the texts I call novels. Have the special ones saved in a secret place. :D And guess what! I love you, and I miss you, and you know what comes next. :)

So that's about it from me. :)
I love you. xxx

Love -v- Hate

Okay, so the last couple of hours I have discovered two new things. Love and hate.

Love: for the two people who've opened my eyes to what I've noticed, but disregarded. Love for their need to protect me from the person I've put so much time and energy into for the past year and a bit. I owe you guys so, so much. You have no idea how thankful I am at the moment.

Hate: for the person I put my time and energy into. Never, in my life have I felt more used, betrayed, disgusted, angry, upset, disturbed or spiteful. How little you must be to make up your stories. How insanely disheartened I am at what I've heard. I hate that I believed you. I hate that I haven't noticed it earlier. I hate everything about you at the moment. I just don't know what to say to you, how I would tell you this if I ever had the courage or the control to tell you all of this to your face.

But any way. The house is clean, courtesy of yours truly. Found out that you can iron a shirt. :D Yes I'm proud, but when you can iron 15 shirts, 4 skirts and 2 pairs of pants in under 2 hours, come find me. Then will I be proud. Still have no homework done, which sucks cos I'd very much like to get some of it done, even if it's just for one subject, I would be happy.

Anyway, I myself am slightly upset and am going to try and sleep, considering it's 1:30am.
I love you. xxx

just one of those silly moods. :)

:) I love having friends that I can have a whinge too.

So now I understand what you two went through and I am so sorry if I ever said anything. So yeah, I miss you. But God, I can't even begin to fathom what some people I know must feel. They're like on the other side of the world. I'm sorry if I ever complain again.

So. It's holidays.
Saturday I didn't get out of bed at all. Watched movies all day.
Sunday I went into town and had lunch at the pub. Then me and Hannah went and watched Eclipse. So good.
Today was spent doing the washing.

Not much to report on. Except that I now know that you're even more selfish than I originally thought. And you two are even more amazing than I thought you were.
I love you. And you guys too. So much. xxx